March 23, 2010

Are you a Communist? Socialist? Capitalist? Don't know? Find out here!


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.


You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.


You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send audio tapes of their mooing.


You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.


You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegal.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.

Interesting & funny.

March 8, 2010

Thanks Mom & Dad

Today, I found the best birthday present when I was in primary school. It is the first edition of "Take Off" magazine ~ That was many, many, many years ago!

When I was a kid. We (my siblings) don't have much toys to play with. Usually I will play with LEGO until my Dad bought an IBM Compatible 8086 PC. 4 colors in CGA mode (wow!) and 16 colors in text mode (wow! wow!). The internal speaker can be heard miles away.. beeeepp.. beeeppp... damn!

.. and we have no mouse and harddrive!.. but we have Turbo button.. with Turbo off = 5 MHz, Turbo ON = 10 MHz.. Wow!

Since then.. I don't need LEGO. Played Digger with my Dad, challenging each other wondering how they put images on the screen.. and it can moves around chasing my Digger (we removed the speaker connector, so that my Mom won't hear us at night)

Being stupid & innocent, I drew a house plan with Lotus 1-2-3..!!!???.. and messing up with dBase ~ without knowing what the actual purpose of that application. One day my Dad brought back Picture Maker.. Its something like MS PowerPoint or OpenOffice Impress nowadays.. and Yeay!!! I can draw pixel by pixel using keypad!

When my Dad was working on the PC, I will be standing or sitting beside him ~ really watch and really learn and asked dozens of questions ~ irritating huh?

My loving dad will never let my questions unanswered ~ even though he can't answer most of them, he bought and borrow lots of Computer References, DOS Manuals and there was one book on GWBasic.

GWBasic.. I'm really amazed with it! But.. still, I felt something is missing until I found Turbo C version 1.0.

Other things I really mess around with.. Autocad 2.6 (damn! 10 pcs of 5.25" diskettes ~ to swap around), LOGO, DR. Halo.. etc.. (err.. PrintMaster.. its for my little baby sister.. hehe)

My Mom wont allow my Dad to buy any toys ~ just books!.. and we have tonnes of books about everyhing! The best thing was, we always can choose our own books for birthday present & when we got good grades in school.

As for me, I really into fighter aircraft & computer graphics programing.

"Take Off" First Edition magazine ~ imported, bought by my Mom for my birthday ~ and before that, I don't even know such magazine exist ~ and usually I went to sleep with it!

Thank you Mom & Dad. I love both of you so much!